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Redneck Pickup Lines

Redneck Pickup Lines!:

1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

Man: Fat Penguin! Woman: WHAT? Man: I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.
 
Re: Redneck Pickup Lines

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.

A very attractive
blonde woman from South Alabama arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll
of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play
topless.

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, 'Come
on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!'
As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and
squealed 'YES! YES! I WON! I WON!'
She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her winnings, and her
clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.

Finally, one of the m asked,
'What did she roll?'
The other answered, 'I don't know... I thought you were watching.

Moral of the story:
1. Not all Southerners are stupid.

2. Not all blondes are dumb.

3. But all men... are men.
 
A Scottish old-timer is in a bar, talking to a young man. "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Noooooooooo..."
Then the old man gestures toward the bar. "Look there at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down with me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-Builder? Nooooooooooo..."
Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooooooooooooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. "But ya fuck one goat...!"
 
3 man are stranded on a Island. Desperately trying to figure out a way to get off the island they stumble upon a a Wishing Well at the end of a cliff. As all 3 men look down in to the wishing well, the wishing well out of nowhere responds, " Hello gentlemen, I will grant you 3 wishes, 1 wish each!" The men not knowing what to do start to argue on whether or not to do it! One man franticly starts to runs and then jumps right off the cliff while saying, "I WISH I WAS THE RICHEST MAN!" Anxiously waiting his landfall, he lands in to MONEY, AND GOLD ETC. ETC. The Second man immediately starts to run to-wards the end of the cliff, HE JUMPS, and says "I want all the beautiful women in the world!" While awaiting his fall he lands into a pool full of women fighting over him. The Last Man says to himself, you know something I wanna fly, I always wanted to fly like superman. So he get a good distance from the cliff. He starts to run as fast as he can, he starts to get closer to the cliff, he tries to leap off the cliff , but TRIPS and the man says "OH SHITTTTT" and lands in a PILE OF SHIT!.
 
In our effort to continue educating others on the ebonics language…today’s word is…



COLOGNE



When used in a sentence….



“Ima little short dis month an I was wunnering if you cologne me some money”
 
sexual position= The Spartan!!

A sexual position where the women is riding a man during intercourse, and right before the man has an orgasm he yells "This is Spartaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!" and kicks the women off the bed. :workout:try it!!! lol jk
 
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